I have to make further comment on Moments of Peace...
Please understand...it's hard for me to admit that...
There are moments I feel alive...
Times I smile...
Occasions I laugh...
Flashes when I don't feel the pain...
For me...a man who so loves his wife...
Those split seconds of peace...
Fill me with hours of shame...
How dare I move on without her...
But I also can't move on with her...
She's gone...
This is where the problem lies for me...
Which may be difficult for others to see...
Sean-it makes me so happy to know that you do have some small moments of peace...you deserve these...I'm sad that it makes you feel shame/guilt. You explain your feelings so well that I can understand why you feel this way. Big hug to you.
ReplyDeleteBridget
This is only a guess, because I really only know Susan through you, Sean. But I think she'd be comforted to know that you have those moments of feeling alive and those seconds of peace...may you feel more of them as time goes on.
ReplyDeletei feel the same as you do..there are moments of peace but after that i go thru lot of guilt and shame of having those moments...i guess this is the new normal!Thanks sean you dont know the extent to which you are helping me by writing what you feel....i see that you are healing the same way as i am...please write ..i live through the words that you write....when i read what you have written its like someone actually can read my mind....Peace brother
ReplyDeletei have moments where i actually feel good, and then i stop and think this is wrong, i can't be happy, because that would mean that i am forgetting, or 'moving on'. moving on, to me, means moving away from what we had before he died. knowing and realizing that things can never be the way they were is the toughest challenge right now.
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