I looked in the mirror today...
I looked for perhaps the first time in eight months...
I searched the glass...
I searched for life...
I stared at the face across...
I stared at his eyes...
He looked tired...old...and torn...
He looked defeated and alone...
He searched his mind...
He searched his heart...
He stared back...
He stared with empty eyes...
I wanted to come up and see you on the 25th, by the time the madness of the day was over and I tired to get to see you, you were gone. I have finally sat down to get caught up on your writing, I especially appreciate the blog about writers block. I feel like with all of the drama in my life I have not had a chance to sit down and feel the loss of Danny anymore. I long to sit and be still and feel his presence all around me. I went to the cemetery and cried today, cried for not having his innocence surrounding me, cried because I miss his laughter, cried because life is so unfair and I should be the one in the ground and not him. The other day my teenage son told me I care more about Danny dead then I do about my kids who are alive, sad thing is sometimes that is true, I cannot get past the fact that Danny is dead to enjoy other two kids who need me. I long for someone to hold me and tell me all is going to be alright, but will it ever be alright, I tend to say not, I feel as if there is a hole in my life that will never be filled. I think of you often Sean {{hugs}}
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