My Oldest

My boys are four and seven...but they are older now.

My oldest is wise beyond my understanding.  In many ways he has become my partner in this journey.

At first, I was scared of the pressure on him...to prop me up at times...to understand I wasn't angry...just frustrated...not at him...but at our new life.

He holds up my younger son as well...comforting...explaining...leading...


I see his mother in his tender touch as he soothes his brother through sadness...
I see his mother in his eyes when he looks to guide me in my moments of madness...


He senses my loneliness...he aches for me at times...and with me at others...
He doesn't know when it will hit...so he watches over me...he hovers...


He tries to fill her absence...always there...
He learned from her...to be full of care...


My oldest helps us cope...
As we wait for hope...


I hope it's not too much for one little man to do...
Oh Luke...so special...we live because of you...