Flowers and Light

There are some people getting seriously rich off my ass...

Since Susan's death I have found myself buying flowers, plants and candles with abandon...trying to surround myself with life and hope.



My house is filled on the inside with plants and fresh cut flowers...decorated on the outside with flowers of her favorite color...yellow...they represent life to me.

I don't feel alive without her by my side...so I surround myself with life...anything to make me feel she is near.

I plant...I cut...I water...I try to find some life in myself through these flowers and plants.



My home is constantly filled with light.  In my mind light represents hope.  My shades are never drawn during the day and a candle always burns brightly at night.

I simply can't close my shades...I need the light...I need the hope.

My neighbors are getting a show from my bedroom window after I shower or when I change my clothes.

But I simply don't care. 

I need the light in that room more than anywhere.  It's is the hardest place to be in our house...it was our place.



I need hope that someday I will nuture the life in me...the way I do in those flowers.

And that I will find hope shining bright in my life...in the same way it rises each day.