So it's been awhile...he typed in a halfhearted attempt to apologize.
Truth...
He has written every day this month.
But...
He has not had enough time or strength to tool...polish...or hone his words into truth.
Why?
Because February was so draining...so rough...so full of truth...and so damn long for such a short month.
So...
March has been a time for him to recover...and comprehend the truth he now faces each day.
Truth...
He's been too busy with life this month to truthfully address the past.
But...
He couldn't let March go by without a word posted...or a phrase turned.
Why?
Because the past will always be part of his present...his future...and his truth.
So...
March has been a time for him to adjust to the truth of a year...and each day that awaits him.
Truth...
He was more prepared for the ups and downs this month.
But...
He still had difficulty navigating his way among the highs and lows...and through the ugly truth.
Why?
Because the truth will always sting...and catch him by surprise...and tear his heart out of his chest.
So...
March has been a time for him to make peace with the fact that the truth of her absence will always remain present as he begins to live again.
With every piece of mail that bears her name...with every unopened Pampered Chef item he stumbles upon...with every picture in which her beauty shines...with every quirk his boys display that could only belong to her...he struggles to harmonize the truth of her absence into his new existence.
Thank you for this note... I have felt broken, not being able to write. The first year the words came so easy, longing for what I had. Now I try to write, but it never come out right. It seems wrong, writing is how I cope, how I have sorted this mess to make some kind of sense of it... and now it won't come. I feel like I need to write, like it would help to fix so much... but the words don't come. Thank you. Your words have always echoed my thoughts, and I am glad to have them to read, when my words won't come.
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